written by for Venus Rising Magazine
Aries 08 Issue
Why are there still so few women in top management positions in the corporate world? Nina DiSesa, Chairman of McCann Erickson in New York, thinks it is because women don't understand men and tend to follow the rules and this doesn't work.
She explains that women need to learn how to handle men in business in much the same way we do in our personal relationships - through what she calls S&M, seduction and manipulation. Nina says this has nothing to do with sex, and that in the end, everyone wins. In her new book "Seducing the Boys Club" she gives the rest of us who think that all we need to do is work hard to get ahead, a swift kick in the butt!
About halfway through her career, Nina decided that if she was going make it in the advertising business, she had to aim for the top. What she didn’t realize was that getting to the top meant she would have to make some major adjustments to gain access to that world – the world of men where arrogance and sexual humor prevail – the boys club.
At the beginning of her book, Nina asserts that men feel comfortable with their own kind and if women want to win, women have to be more like men. She also explains that women need to learn to appreciate men because men like women who like them.
“The most helpful things I discovered were little secrets and insights about understanding and managing men. We have to seduce them without sex and manipulate them without malice. And we must be like them. If we play our hand correctly, we can work alongside men as equals, and when the time comes, we can protect them, lead them to greatness, and even make them better men—at least the ones who have room for improvement.”
As I began reading Nina’s book, I was totally skeptical of this idea, yet intrigued by such a different approach. Why should WE change? I thought. THEY, those boys clubby men, are the ones with the bad behavior. Yet here Nina was saying that WE have to do something different to get ahead and she is the Chairman of an internationally renowned advertising agency, the one that came up with the “Priceless” ads for MasterCard, so she MUST know something that I don’t. I kept reading.
Through hilarious anecdotes, Nina explained how, time and again, at crucial points in her career, she broke the “good girl” rules we all grew up with...and it produced success.
In managing an office of unruly, yet talented and creative men who were competing with each other instead of working as a team, she says she had to squelch the negative and share the positive. For instance, she writes that she would be in a meeting with Ed Jones, and he’d say:
“Jack Smith is an ass.”
“Really?” I’d say, with great surprise. “Jack’s an ass? Because just yesterday he was saying what a good brief you wrote for the XYZ client.”
“But what Jack had actually said about Ed was: The brief Ed wrote is good, but believe me, that’s the only thing he ever does well. He’s and idiot savant.”
Nina says she is not exactly lying when she does this. She is just not telling the whole truth, which is allowed in her personal code of ethics.
“Jack liked that brief?” Ed says. “It was damn good.” Ed is puffing up right before my eyes. “Well, sometimes Jack’s an ass,” Ed says, “and sometimes he shows good judgment.”
It was tactics such as this that transformed that department from a sinking ship to a successful income-generating TEAM of men, many of whom followed Nina when she moved on and up the ladder.
Well, I thought, I don’t really like being “manipulative,” but if it is for a good cause, maybe it is ok? I decided to test it out. My fiancé, who is generally very generous and does a lot for me, sometimes says no when I need something important. Usually, he is happy to help, but occasionally, I can tell that he doesn’t want to because I’ve asked for too much lately, and his sense of fairness holds him back or he feels his queue is too full, and he’ll say something dismissively like “Can we talk about this later?”
So, recently, I knew he was in one of those moods. However, I needed his help with a web problem I was having for a non-profit I volunteer my marketing and web skills to. A good cause for sure. So I decided instead of making that clear, like I normally would, I made it about HIM.
“Sweetie, I need your expertise on a web problem I’m having.”
Not only did he say OK immediately and ask what the problem was, within two seconds, he was in my chair, looking at my computer and solving the problem. AND, it is true. He is an expert, so totally no harm done, and the problem that had stymied me for over a week was solved within two minutes.
Immediate success. Yes, this is a much better approach.
Ladies, read this book and change your life and the lives of those around you. Perhaps our feminine sense of fair play needs to bend just a little bit. 
© 2008 Venus Rising Magazine